I had many problems growing up. Way more problems than solutions.
The earliest memory I have is eating watermelon in my granny’s back yard and playing with her and our two pug dogs. This first memory definitely doesn’t come across as problematic, but all the memories to follow are.
I lived with my granny and mom until I was 7. While in 1st grade I got uprooted from everything I have ever known. My mom dragged me around with her and her drug addicted boyfriend from house to house, town to town. I never knew where my “home” was.
My problems didn’t stop at a mom who cared more about drugs and a man. They continued.
When I was 8 a judge granted an unfamiliar man the right to have custody of me for summers. This unknown and unfamiliar person was supposedly my “dad”. To me, this man was nothing but a stranger, and again, the only thing that was still familiar to me was taken away – my mom. While most kids look forward to summers, I dreaded mine.
I was granted little to no contact with my mom and granny and, though I did get to call or write, everything was recorded or read first. I was lonely, scared and unstable. I didn’t have the upbringing the traditional family had.
A few months after being taken to North Carolina by my mom and her boyfriend, I was admitted into foster care due to the selfishness and carelessness of my mom. I was placed with a family for nine months, along with two other foster kids. Even though the problems did not go away in my foster home, it definitely felt a little more stable than anything I had previously. I had a bedtime, a schedule, a church and a family that was stable. Something every 9 year old should have.
My problems all resurfaced when my granny, mom and “dad” all fought for custody of me.
A 9 year old needs love and care – someone to protect them and help guide them in a path of Jesus Christ, not months of waiting for legal action to be taken.
I think these were my major problems as a kid. Just not having the structure and balance a kid needs. My family loved me very much, and I am very blessed to have people that care about me like some kids do not have. But they say I was raised was normal, and I think it caused a lot of difficulty in my life, not just then but in later years as well. I was bullied in school and was very lost. Not knowing what was right and what was wrong. I was misguided and in a not so great atmosphere.
Once I got older, I knew I didn’t want to be like my parents. I feel like they set the example of what not to do. I have made my share of mistakes, just like everyone else. But what really made me want to change was turning my heart and mind to Jesus Christ. I want to be the person God created me to be. I want to strive to be the best version of me I can be. And none of that would be possible without God in my life.
I am now in school and involved in my church. I start my day with God and end my day with God. I strive each and everyday to become closer to the person God intended me to be. I think that is the first and most important reason I am in a different place today. Along with that, I have a great support system behind me – I have God, I have a great church group that helps me to grow. I have my Dad, who gives me the support and encouragement every daughter needs. He helps me through my tough days, and makes me laugh harder on the good ones.
I think really letting God lead me into the right choices in life is the key, and my Dad also guides me. I am blessed to be where I am today. Who knows where I would be today if I would have followed my family influences.
It really is YOUR decision where you go in life.